Everything’s changing

The last 2 weeks

To put it in one word the last two weeks have been CRAZY! I cried A LOT, I cleaned non-stop & I fought with multiple people. It was an extremely emotional time for me to be moving out of my mother’s house & into my partners, but I did it I am here & things are going... well.

Leaving the apartment

Leaving was hard. I have moved away from my mom before but it is never easy & Even though our relationship isn’t always the greatest it was hard for me to say good bye to her again.  That wasn’t the worst part of leaving though I think it was the cleaning & last minute packing. With only 5 days left & a partially empty apartment I was going crazy trying to pack everything up & clean the place. It is extremely hard to do when my mother just sat on her computer all day doing nothing but making a mess as I cleaned. I was so beat by day 4 that when all of my things were packed & gone I left the very few last minute things up to her. I hope she managed ok.

Mom

So my mom is moving about a 5 hour drive from where I am & although she is in the city for 1 more month (with some family) it is as if she is already gone. I have mixed feelings about this. As much as I am happy to be out because I won’t be fighting with her or stressing over her I miss her... She is still my mom. My partner doesn’t quite seem to understand this & probably never will, so I can only hope he can bear with me through my emotional mom rollercoaster. I have only spoken to her on the phone twice in the last week that we have been apart & both times I had to fight back tears as I didn’t want her to know I was hurting (VERY hard to do at 8 months pregnant) but thankfully the conversations were short. Still adjusting to no mom again so we will see how things progress.

Moving in with my partner

When I say my partner... I mean him, his parents, his grandparents & his brother. Can you say AWKWARD? I can. Again this is something my partner doesn’t seem to understand. He gets to stay comfy in his home surrounded by his family. I however am pulled out of & away from everything & everyone I know, harsh but necessary. The plan was to live with my mom for a while then move out on our own but when my mom up & decided to leave plans had to change. We didn’t have time to save up to go on our own so the options were I move 5 hours away from him & see him whenever possible or move into his house with his parents till we get on our feet. We obviously chose living with his parents. This is very strange for me, his family is VERY different from mine & it is taking a little getting used to. Now I’m not saying his family is weird or this is a bad thing cause its far from bad but it is like I said VERY different so it is a little strange & uncomfortable.

The differences

Living with my mom meant I was picking up after my 18 year old brother & 40 year old mother on a daily basis, it felt as if I could never get anything done because as soon as I cleaned something they had messed something up or as soon as all the laundry was caught up there would be another 2 loads from 1 of their rooms, I would go out having done all the dishes come home to a sink full. How 2 people were able to make such a mess I do not know, but I do know it was driving me crazy & led to a lot of fights because I would get to a breaking point where I would flip out & demand change that never came. Now compare that to living here with his parents where there really isn’t much for me to do. The only things I can do around here are mine & my partners laundry, the odd (very few) dishes that are in the sink, & cook dinner for my partner & I. This is slightly weird as I am used to doing so much more but it’s awesome cause I can focus on my nesting & preparing for baby, it also allows me to nap when I’m sleepy relax when I need to. Although I slightly miss being so busy I’ll enjoy it for now till baby gets here as I’m sure there will be lots to do afterwards.

Adjusting

So now I’m going into my second week living here, I miss my mom & my old place & am finding his place still very uncomfortable & awkward but I understand this will take some time to get used to which is fine just wish it was a little easier. The fact that I am just about 8 months pregnant does not help with any of this, in fact, I am pretty sure it makes it all a little more awkward. For now though all is well I am safe & warm & in good hands & just thanking God my son will have good family around him.